Meanwhile, at Denny’s

Inspired by the Choosing Sides prompt at Writingthe200.       :

And what sides would you like with your burger? We’ve got fries, fruit salad, garden salad, 3 bean salad and couscous.

None of those. I would like two orders of pie.

Substitutions are not allowed.

I should hope not!

Should I give you some more time?

Where is this ‘more time’ on the menu?

I’ll come back when you’re ready to order.

I’m ready now! I would like a burger with banana cream pie and lemon meringue pie.

OK. Would you like a salad?

No.

Fries?

Bad for my heart.

Fruit salad?

Not for me.

3 bean salad?

I’ll fart all night.

Couscous?

Bless you.

So I’ve got you down for a burger with banana cream pie and lemon meringue pie.

Correct.

You realize I’ll have to charge you for each order of pie?

I believe the use of stun guns is unlawful in our fair state.

You realize I’ll have to add the cost of each slice of pie to your check?

Seems fair. And don’t forget my dessert.

Apple pie?

Correct.

So a burger and three slices of pie?

Better make that burger to go. I have a busy night and this is taking an awfully long time.